My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
