yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
