Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize