is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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