Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
