Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize