I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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