They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
