How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
