I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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