nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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