there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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