i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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