it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
