dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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