Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
