Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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