Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize