So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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