Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize