i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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