so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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