why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize