So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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