Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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