for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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