Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
