...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
