what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
