I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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