Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
