Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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