i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
