pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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