you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
