3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
