She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
