I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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