I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
