hell yes lets make some ravioli
I feel like abortions should bother me more
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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