Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
