Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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