if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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