I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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