I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i think i have two assholes
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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