At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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