Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Someone came in the potted fern
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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