The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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