I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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