I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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