Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize