So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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