sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
