All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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